Tuesday, October 4, 2016

(Almost) Raising a Yarn Store and Two Boys

Anyone who has known me for the past few years knows that I have been simultaneously raising a yarn store and my two boys. I was pregnant with Miles when our yarn store dream became a reality. And if things got too busy in one of the first few months you visited, you may have snuggled Miles while I wound your yarn or vacuumed. If things were slow, I could catch up on bookkeeping or play with my sweet baby.

The store got busier, and we added to our yarn store family as well as our personal family. About 10 ladies helped out with lessons, pattern deciphering, and Auntie duties.  Little baby Devon joined us just a few months after we moved locations. With some small tweaks, the new location was perfect for us! The main floor had cute cubbies for gorgeous yarn delights, and after some arranging, a fabulous place for gathering and friendships. We put our effort into yarn bombing, new samples, and day to day store activities.

The upstairs had a perfect office, kid room, and extra supply room (which turned into a LuLaRoe room). It made thinking about raising my kids in a yarn store suddenly less public, and more imaginable to homeschool. We even had a full bathroom and laundry put in. Because, well, kids!

One month went by, and then another. Two turned into four, and suddenly I realized I was resentful. My kindle was parenting my four year old. When he was hungry for lunch, he would ask politely and it would take forever to find time. To feed my polite hungry child. When my baby cried, I would become irritated with him for making our day even longer. Ten hour days were common, even though I cut the store hours in an effort to stay home and be a better parent. I couldn't keep up with full time working/running my own business and full time parenting, even with help!!

While the busyness was exciting, it took me a bit to realize that I couldn't have everything. I was no longer knitting or crocheting in my spare time because I had none. I couldn't remember people's names because I wasn't getting sleep. I couldn't help with a yarn pattern because I was doing administrative duties up in my office. And I STILL didn't have time for my kids.

I could send my four-year-old to a full day preschool. That would solve soooo many things. But it absolutely negates the reason we wanted a yarn shop in the first place: to spend more time with my family. I wanted a job where I could be a mom and a wife at the same time as a yarn shop owner. And when all of these things demand every moment of my attention, they all suffer. And if I have to choose, I will choose my family every time. Do you see? Someone else may lovingly raise "my" yarn shop, but no one else can be me to my children, or can be me for my husband, barring emotional trauma.

I want to have the chance to have a lazy day with my children out at the park discovering grasshoppers. I want the chance to share a joke with my husband instead of sharing essential child information as we pass in the night. I want the chance to think about expanding our family instead of being fearful what that might mean for our crunched time schedule, or what people might think because I have rough pregnancies.

We are not going anywhere. We are strong believers that God will provide in all circumstances, but we wanted to make our need known. We need you to be aware of our struggle. We need you to understand that the store is mostly run on volunteers and love because of our crazy lives. We also need you to know that we think the store can thrive. But it may not be with me trying to (and losing) control of all things. There may be someone out there who has been aching for an opportunity like this. And so we need you to be open and willing to bear with us as we figure out everything.